Chapter 4 - Hot Wheels!

Author’s Note: To all those assuming this chapter is going to be about the toy cars that you played with when you were very small… all I can say is, you are in for a rude shock. Anyhow since this is a blog about Evolution and those crappy cars have no relation with it. I should be very correct in saying that if you did assume what I expected you to… then you really have to broaden your viewpoint. Also to those who think that this blog is getting sarcastic… well sorry bro’s I can’t help it. People understand, only that which is told to them harshly. In this big bad world, sweet words and sweeter thoughts have no effect.

As to what this chapter is really about… I am finally moving over from a psychological and biological point of view to something which is something of a physical and analytical point of view. READ ON! 

Till now, I have been trying to prove why we are aliens and not some big fat apes biologically, but now time has come that I give you other proofs. I should be correct in assuming that no one is easily convinced when it comes to large truths… and when it comes to our origins, the truth is as large as it can get. So from the first I knew that people would be skeptical if I only tried a biological point of view… hence this chapter is all about an analytical viewpoint… let’s say that this chapter might make you want to think about what technology and its advancement is all about. 

In the very first chapter, I told you all that without technology, Man could not have survived on this planet anymore. It was only due to this advancement that we really stand out on this planet Earth which is filled with a humungous number of other species. The one thing that gave us the upper hand, enabling us to reach and maintain our position as the top species, the superanimal as we so boastfully call ourselves. But is this boast really true, or as like all other facts, this one too was made up for us! 

Here is what I think; this technology which we are so proud of, which we really believe has established us as the most superior species… was just a Gift. An incentive if you would like it, and throughout the years these incentives have been keeping us from getting wiped of this planet. Don’t believe me… don’t worry I have two large examples to go along with my so-called stupendous yet foolish idea.

Everybody respects fire! I say respect, because it is something that us humans, have long foregone the idea of messing with. Yes we play around with it, yes we can also tame it… but the much bigger truth is, that we don’t go barging in on it. Fire has been something, around which we have always treaded carefully. And with all these technological advancements, fire has still remained what it was when discovered by our first ancestors. I say discovered, not invented. There is a gap, the size of the Grand Canyon between a discovery and an invention. Discovery is something that was already there, we just used it for our betterment or even for the worse. An invention on the other hand is something wholly and solely developed from scratch, yes we can take the help of other discoveries, but the end product has to be something, which the world is witnessing for the first time. 

Man discovered Fire and he invented the Wheel! Or did he? Because fire was already present in some form or the other on Earth. A lightning bolt from the sky, a tree burning, even molten magma… man knew that there was something called fire and it was present. But the fact was that we had no clue, when it came to using it…let’s just say that our ancestors didn’t have the slightest idea as to what fire was and what its purpose was. Yet surprisingly from having no clue, our ancestors came to use fire for their betterment… and you have to agree with me on the fact, that the discovery of fire is from where our struggle for survival ended and our reign started.

Fire helped us from being pushed around by other to animals, to the now superior beings who rule the earth. We started taking fire very seriously… I don’t know how, but man has always been inquisitive towards all those things which have been useful to him. All the other things we couldn’t find any use, or we were just not ready to harness we stayed away. For example we harnessed fire, but have we yet harnessed lava. And no matter how much technology has advanced from the days of the topless hair covered chests till today when every man is trying to go hairless… lava has still remained where it was. We haven’t touched it one bit. Now why is that? Why did man decide to only harness fire, why not that great mountain of fire. Does a small kid know the difference between a toy car and a real car. All he sees is the bigger version of what he is holding in his hand… and believe me; the kids want the bigger car. Mankind has always been after bigger things… right from cars to houses… to you know what I am talking about (hinting at the guys)! 

But how was it that the unknowledgeable man managed to only stay put till fire. Unless you let the kid know that the bigger car is out of bounds, he is one day going to step in it, put his small, stubby leg on the accelerator and drive off into the neighbour’s wall. Therefore it is the elders who decide what is appropriate at what time.

Now here is where my alien theory is proposed. I know this may sound ludicrous even insane… but just think about what you’re going to read next with a very open mind.

Here is how the scenario will have played out:

Aliens put us humans on Earth’s territory. Now the first thing you do when you are raising a small kid (here assume the small kid is a euphemism for our ancestors) is that you tell him what is accessible for him, and what is not. Fire okay… molten lava, melts your ass - stay away from it. Now as the kid grows you go on telling him more and more, when finally he learns to understand from his own experience.

So what I am saying is aliens were the ones who told us how to use fire. I mean seriously did you think, that out of the blue one of the hair chested gentlemen or his equally hideous wife decided that it was best to let a fire burn outside the entrance of their home sweet home. Who does that?

Now let’s play out another scenario:

Let’s say that two gentlemen Uba-Uba and Uba-Luba are sitting around a fire. First of all, let’s think of how they could have started that fire. Our ancient and totally wrong history states, that fire was discovered when a singular person (whom, if this story is true, is then the greatest thing to happen to mankind… better yet than all the discoverers and inventors present or who have passed away) who when rubbing two flint stones together created enough sparks to start a fire.

Okay let’s assume this hypothesis to be true – this states that the particular gentlemen had by coincidence two flint stones in his hand. Also since this happened around the time when our entire Earth was covered with enough trees and foliage to make global warming a very funny joke, we can assume that what this man was standing on was green grass. Now, if you are one of the scientific types, who want proofs and want to do their own experiments, I would love it if you attempted this one… Go outside; find some green grass and two flint stones. Try rubbing those two stones together and try setting the green grass on fire. I bet my ass it won’t work no matter how hard you rub those stones together. Coming back to our singular gentlemen; we can assume that what he was standing on was coincidentally either dry grass or a heap of dry sticks. Let’s not brawl as to how he found that heap of dry sticks (firewood). Let’s just assume that they are there.  

So now this particular curious gentleman is merrily rubbing away those two stones standing near a pile of dry grass or heap of dry sticks (I mean this wouldn’t sound so crazy then, what other task would they have to pass their time) and he is producing enough sparks that suddenly sets the pile of grass or sticks on fire… voila our gentleman has discovered the technique to produce fire from scratch. 

So now what does he do, he does what every other guy does when he finds out a cool thing… he calls over his buddies (literally, there were no phones or no Facebook then) and there they are, the singular gentleman and his band of merry buddies rubbing away vigorously at the flint stones. Now however funny this story might sound, I can truly with all the confidence in my vodka infested heart say, that this sounds stupid. But just for the story’s sake let’s assume that this is how fire was discovered!

And now back to Uba-Uba and Uba-Luba two gentlemen who have learned the fine art of producing fire from their friends. So there they are, sitting around a roaring fire. Now it is said that man learnt to cook his meat in the fire and that is how he learned about cooking skills… which produced the kitchen! So maybe this story should have two ladies instead of two gentlemen… but anyways, there they are biting into those large raw, uncooked steaks of God knows whatever animal they have hunted down. 

According to our story books and history books, someone accidentally dropped a piece in the fire. After the fire had been put out, the piece was found by some brave gentleman who actually put it in his mouth and found out that it tasted much, much better than the raw stuff that they were having. So let’s assume that our two gentlemen Uba-Uba and Uba-Luba are the ones who discovered cooked food.

So what happens according to the story is that they drop their meat in the fire (here is a dialogue played out between them):

UU is for Uba-Uba and UL is for Uba-Luba – 

UU: (chomping on his meat steak, smiling at UL)

UL: (smiling right back at UU, waving his piece of meat trying to acknowledge that he understands the happiness that UU is feeling… when suddenly the meat slips from his large, greasy fingers and falls in the fire)

UL: Drat! You @!@#$! (God knows what curses they had then)… I have lost my food.

UU: Shit, would you like some from mine?

UL: Obviously you dumb caveman, me hungry!

(UU grudgingly gives up some part of his meat to UL. A few moments later, their lip-smacking food has been consumed)

UU: Time to put out this fire, don’t want anyone knowing that we were slacking here warming our feet and having large raw steaks!

(UL puts out the fire, who knows how they have learnt putting out the fire… maybe they just learned it by watching rain extinguish fire…Maybe!)

(UL sees something large and black in the now extinguished fire. He prods it, with whatever he has in his hand)

UL: Hey there’s my piece of meat, look how black it is.

(Now this is the part I am really unclear about. How does a piece of meat that fell in the fire find its way into one of the gentleman’s mouth?) I mean consider the situation of UU and UL, for them fire was something they respected, used and above all feared. No one in their right mind would put something in their mouth that had just been removed from something that they consider to be perhaps the most dangerous thing known to them at that time! 

You tell me folks, right now Potassium Cyanide is a well known poison and you and I both know how dangerous it is. Maybe in another fifty years Man will discover that taking the proper amounts of Cyanide will provide him with the ability to fly. But right now, it is the most dangerous thing for us, we always stay away from it. So would anyone in their right mind, swallow a piece of meatball (no matter how tasty), which has just been removed from a vat of Cyanide. Just tell me, would you? Obviously the answer is no. 

So why did UU and UL have the courage or maybe the stupidity to put this piece in their mouth, when they knew that it had just fallen into one of the most dangerous things they knew at that time. Critics might say, that they had no knowledge of the dangers of putting anything in their mouth, that their large heads contained very small amounts of functioning brains, that their brains just didn’t process the danger they were putting themselves into… I on the other hand, beg to differ.

Even a small child knows what is dangerous and what is not, yes he might try it once… but on finding out (the hard way) that it is injurious to his health even a small kid will stay away from it. And I can guarantee you that UU and UL were quite big (in size as well as age). So there can be no doubt that they knew the exact dangers of fire.

So here is the question: Knowing that what they were having was very dangerous, why did they put it in their mouth, why go to the extent of putting their lives in danger just for the sake of curiosity. Man has always guarded himself fiercely, so why now would his behaviour change. You see, all of this has a very simple explanation, something that will clear all of these coincidental discoveries in a minute. 

Imagine that aliens imparted the knowledge to UU and UL. Imagine that the particular gentleman, who discovered fire, was being instructed by aliens as to how he could harness it. If not, then all we have is a series of coincidental discoveries, which will tend to make us think that we the Human Species had loads of luck, which in turn made us the superior being. But even the hardest critic has to agree that this much amount of luck is obnoxious. 

So, aliens (I have already been saying this and I will say it again, aliens are nothing but us. Just at an advanced age in technology and knowledge) were the ones who taught the humans as to how they could harness fire and use it for their own well-being, they provided us the edge to move up in the food chain. We now became hunters instead of being hunted! 

You might think that my hypothesis is foolish, but I would say it is nowhere as foolish as to what we have been told. Coincidental discoveries didn’t make man, we were precisely taught of what to use, and how to use it. That is what kept the ancient man’s ass from melting, since it was aliens who told us that the lava was out of bounds. And isn’t it human tendency, that we always listen and agree to whatever our superiors say to us. So it is not very hard to believe that these aliens which were so much more advanced than our ancestor guided and molded them into what we call the Man. 

For example, if I were to tell you, that drinking the right dosage of potassium cyanide allows you to fly; you would all laugh at me. But what if someone from the future comes up to you, with all his advanced technology and his gadgets and wizardry. And this person takes out a flask, telling you to check that it is indeed potassium cyanide, now if this man takes a sip, and then with a sudden surge he starts to fly, wouldn’t you really want to try it out. See… man believes in what he sees and what he is being briefed about. That is why UU or UL (whoever was braver or maybe stupider) took out the meat and put it in their mouth. That’s the reason, why we learnt to control fire. Because believe me, fire still today, in the wrong hands is destructible and uncontrollable. And yet our ancestors managed to control and use it, with very little technology or understanding. Really… NO! They had been provided everything they would have wanted to know about fire, only then was Man able to harness and use it, for his own personal growth. 

Now that we are over fire, I am coming to the wheel’s part of the chapter… having discussed hot (fire) for so much time, I now move onto wheels… Man’s greatest invention. Basic difference between invention and discovery, if you have forgotten it: A discovery is something that is already there, somebody just discovers it (e.g.: Fire, Oxygen). An invention on the other hand is something that has been developed from scratch. Something that was not present, but made and herein lies the biggest difference. 

Man invented the wheel. Perhaps the single biggest invention which changed the face of this Earth, which changed Man. The invention of wheel is something like a game-changer… it totally changed the way in which man perceived his surroundings. A wheel is perhaps the only reason after fire as to why we are now ruling this world. Now, looking back at our history books, we come to know that wheel was invented by men, who found some rolling logs and thought it would be easier to transport their belongings that way.

Now here is where it again gets funny… Why did Men think that it was going to be easier to transport their belongings this way? C’mon they had no knowledge of geometry. How in God’s name, could they have understood that the shape of the log was going to be so very useful for their transport. Exactly who perceived the notion that the circle was going to be the perfect shape they required. Children still, don’t understand what a circle or a square is, until they are taught to differentiate between the two. 

So believe me, there was someone there to help us understand as to how we could reduce our load, how we could progress humanity. If you don’t believe me, wait till I point out the flaws in our history. Firstly, our ancestors laying down the foundation of pure geometry just by looking at some rolling logs, seems foolish enough. Secondly, why they developed such a curiosity in those logs is in itself a big question. And lastly, I still don’t understand as to how the basis of the wheel was developed from some logs. I mean, who ordained that logic, who put forward this concept and basically how did he connect some rolling logs to a device which would help him carry his load. 

In a time, when the best tools man had were his hands, how did he suddenly decide that creating a device like the wheel would help him in his work? Would a child develop an idea that he could generate electricity from falling water? Obviously he will not, first he would have to know the concept of potential and kinetic energy… then he would have to have the proper tools, like turbines and mechanical to electrical convertors at his disposal. Only then would he be able to generate electricity from falling water.

Exactly what am I trying to feed you through this? Would be the question many have on their mind right now. The only thing I am trying to explain is, without any external help, it would have been damn impossible for man, to develop such advanced devices on his own. It would be only possible with external help. Don’t get me wrong, I am not demeaning our inventions… but what we didn’t do, we can’t take credit for. I mean we have basically plagiarised their ideas and took all the credit. 

But I am not some researcher keen to bring out the truth as to what we took and what really was ours. No, I am not trying to say that it is human tendency to take credit for what others have done. I am just trying to prove my point that aliens did help us and it is only due to their gratitude (and a bit of foolishness) that we are where we are right now. Because if it wasn’t for them, mankind would still be in the womb stage of advancement, as we would have no guardian to guide us… to show us, the right path. And it was the right path which brought us where we are currently. If not for this correct path, we would have strayed off on some other foolish road, never becoming the superior beings. We are here, because we were guided!

So when aliens brought us here, what did they first tell us… they first gave us the tools to survive? You can’t just go and give a child a car. No, you first give him a small walker, wherein he will learn to walk and balance himself. Then you give him a small cycle, from where on he can then upgrade to bigger bikes and cars. So all in all, it’s a slow and gradual process.

Same was the case with our ancestors; the aliens (here aliens are just advanced human-beings) first taught us what we needed for our basic survival. From there, they upgraded us to using and harnessing fire, helping us with the wheel and such other discoveries. Not to demean our inventions and discoveries any more… but do we really know for sure, that all we think man has invented or discovered was done by him alone.

Okay I will agree… modern day discoveries and inventions we did do. But it was only possible, because we had a solid foundation to work on. So if UU and UL had not been told how to use fire… and if the particular gentlemen had not been told how and exactly what the wheel was, we would still be living in open land (and global warming or nuclear armageddon would not have been a problem). But here we are, advanced to the limit, where it is very easy to say that we have nearly discovered and invented all that is there to be done. But clouded by our victories we have forgotten, that in the beginning we were just humble and stupid animals incapable of even knowing our ass from our elbow!

So my dear friends take some time to think… the wheel was not invented by a man, who saw rolling logs. He had no freaking idea, as to what the logs were doing. I bet you, he even didn’t know the meaning of rolling. And fire was not just discovered and controlled for our benefits by humans. Everything, as is the tendency of humans, was taught to us. Don’t believe me, just know this – If it were for Coincidence and Luck that we really came this far, I pity the human race… because we have no right to rule this world!

Chapter 3 - Small Things, Big Wonders... Bigger Mistakes

Author’s Note: Here in this third chapter, I discuss on the points which are going to
fumble and baffle most of the people. Genes, Micro-organisms and such other tiny
structures helped define us, believe me. I got inspiration to write this
chapter, from my sister Sharvari… wherein we chatted on the phone for an hour…
tossing ideas back and forth. When finally I decided to do the needful and
write it down. Hope you understand what I am about to abuse your mind with! Cheers.

What is a Gene? A gene according to the medical definition – is a unit of heredity
in a living organism. It normally resides on a stretch of DNA that codes for a
type of protein or for an RNA chain that has a function in the organism. In
simpler language (don’t worry, I will try and make this as simple as possible).
Genes are programmed codes, written in biological form which are stored on the
hard-disks of DNA’s and RNA’s (who knew God was a programmer. Sheesh, this
makes programming and coding the oldest profession in the world.) But jokes
apart, Genes are the basic functions which define the way in which the
monolithic programme (our human body) will run.

So what has this Gene got to do with evolution, right? Wrong, genes have
everything to do with evolution. As my sis Sharvari pointed out, the Gene
structures of Humans and Apes are similar upto 99%. So how is it that I can
still say that we humans haven’t evolved from apes? Simply because whatever
information she imbibed, was from her 12^th Std study books and we
all know the quality of those damn books! Bad language, dull teaching and pathetic
research make up a very good part of the 12^th Std syllabus, so it is
easy to get affected by this mindless droning.

Wake Up! Folks… research on genes was done in 1962 by some very lazy scientists who proved that the genome structure of Apes and Humans was 99% same. But when this research was thought of upon today, scientists have found some gaping faults in it. Firstly, the basis on which these ’62 scientists based there theory was, that the humans and apes had the same building blocks of proteins in there gene structure. But only ten days ago, I read an article by a very eminent scientist who studied this lazy research and found out, that if we accept the similarity of genes only on the basis of protein structures, then not only are we related to the apes but to the mosquitoes as well (doesn’t mean you have to stop killing them).

Secondly, this scientist pointed out that only the Full Gene Mapping of the Human DNA and RNA structure has been carried out… no such thing has been done with the Apes DNA and RNA. So this makes it very foolish to compare them both, when we have very little knowledge of the ape genes. As always we are making the common mistake of assuming things… things which we really have little idea about. And this mistake has prevailed time and again… leading us to assume that we evolved from the apes.

Now when we are talking about the minutest of elements… we might as well touch on the topic of diseases. Cancer, AIDS and many such other diseases are common between us and apes. So does this mean, we must be related to them, not in the least bit (for starters, swine flu affects humans as well as pigs. So if you are happy to be related to the pigs… well that’s your choice). Also, when we are looking at diseases, we only think of the ones that match, what about those that don’t. Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s and such other brain related diseases only affect us, the apes (bless their small and underdeveloped brain) never suffer from these diseases.

Does this mean that when we evolved and grew a superior brain, we also got along with it a dose of some very deadly diseases? Why on earth would evolution do that to us? As always, I have been shouting out this point… if we did evolve from the apes, why is it, that the final product was so messy? And since evolution is impartial, why the indifference towards us? Truth is, neither did we evolve from the apes, nor has there been any fixing between evolution… it is just the work of some very lazy (did I mention stupid) scientists, who want their ancestors to be apes. We have been twisting the facts to support our theories. And therein lies our biggest mistake, we have always been dogmatic.

Richard Feynman (a scientist whom I personally think to be the best among the lot) has said: ‘The previous experiments which have been performed and the results mapped, are not 100% true or even correct… so, if you want to succeed as an experimenter, before conducting any new research always check whether the base you are working on is firm’. It’s the oldest law of engineering: ‘A solid base makes a very good foundation’. So, we have always been assuming, that since our genes match, we must be related… has anyone really tried it out I wonder?

Now, there is one more point that my sister pointed out to me… Quote Sharvari: ‘If we assume your theory of evolution to be true, then why haven’t the micro-organisms from which all the other plants and animals evolved vanished.’ Real nice observation sis, only you’re committing the mistake, millions of other people have been committing from eons. Here is our problem – we humans tend to form groups, it has been the worst thing that can be attributed to us. If two things (here things can refer to any item under and beyond the blue sky) show some similarities, we immediately segregate them into a single group, when on the other hand there are so many things, which are not similar about them… but as always, we cannot teach a pompous fool, and man is the most pompous fool that is there in the market.

This bad quality has led us to segregate the micro-organisms under one entity. And our mind has inculcated this habit so solidly; we won’t even know we are committing a mistake unless someone points it out to us. So what mistake has my sister committed is the first question that may pop to your mind (i.e. if you are thinking and reading, if else your mind is somewhere else, you might not register a single fact). Well the mistake of thinking that micro-organisms are a single entity is something like a man having perfect vision who puts on a mask of blindness.

People, when we think of micro-organisms, our brain (of which we are so proud) immediately procures the info from a file stored in our brain… onto which due to constant hammering, the micro-organisms have been stored as a single entity. Wherein the truth is, that there are more varieties of micro-organisms present on the surface of your keyboard then there are people living in the city of Pune (and you thought that only toilets were dirty). So if their numbers are so large, why in God’s name did we think that they all would be of the same type?

What I have been trying to say from the last two paragraphs is, how can we classify them all as a single species when we know that their population beats us by a mind-numbing number (and we are afraid of population explosion). So, now what does the population of the micro-organisms have to do with our population? If you’re looking for similarities, then there are none that I can point out to you. But therein lies the funniest thing.

The difference in the types of the micro-organisms has helped define the chart of Evolution. If you are not still understanding, here is an example for what I have been trying to convey:

Let’s say we have three types of micro-organisms… A, B & C. Now, A lands up in a place where he feels that it is much more safer and better to evolve into something that can’t move. And so A decides to evolve into a tree. While B, whose brain (don’t think simple organisms are so simple, they’re far more complex, than most of the complex organisms present) feeds him with the fact that if he were moving much faster he would have more chances of survival and so B decides to evolve into an animal. And C, who wants nothing to do with this evolution, decides to remain a simple organism.

What has this stupid example got to do with evolution? Well it has everything that I have been trying to state and exactly where my sister got confused. If we know, that there are such tens of thousands of species present just nearby. How on earth did we end up saying that, why didn’t the micro-organisms all evolve. It’s exactly same as saying: Why don’t black people have fair kids? Why doesn’t a Sardar reproduce to give birth to a Gujarati son. It’s because lineage is very important.

Lineage is omnipresent in every micro-organism. A banyan tree has a lineage through which we can come to know, from exactly what micro-organism this gigantic tree has evolved.(although I don’t think that this kind of study is possible, not at least currently) And believe me, the banyan tree which came from a particular type of micro-organism, that same organism hasn’t evolved to form a mango tree. Do you now understand what I am trying to say? Micro-organisms did evolve into complex species and in this process the organisms were completely wiped out forming or evolving into new species. But there are so many varieties of them and that’s why, they haven’t completely vanished.

It’s because those that did evolve, went kaput from their basic forms and evolved into superior beings. But those that still remain in their basic formats… those are the micro-organisms we are currently seeing. Before I wrap this chapter up – Some food for thought… did you folks really believe that tigers, apes, mangoes, watermelons all evolved from the same micro-organisms… if yes, it’s time you started looking at the larger picture. Time you moved; from the small well of knowledge you have and take a dip in the vast ocean of knowledge that you are so perfectly ignorant about! Cheerio!

Chapter 2 - Man the most Fragile of All

Author's Note: To all those who read my 1^st chapter… Thank You! To those who haven’t read it yet… c’mon people do something useful, go strain your mind with thoughts… just for once, try and deviate your lifecycle away from the useless facebooking! On a totally different note, this chapter
fortifies my point as to why we were not evolved from apes, but we are aliens who inhabited this planet!

Go check yourself properly in the mirror (as always this is hypothetical, you don’t have to do it now, not when you spend at least an hour in front of the mirror everyday). If you check out human anatomy, you will notice that we are totally different from the animals present on this planet (I have stopped
calling it “Our Planet”  since it clearly is not ours.) Man is just the bad guest who won’t leave! When I say different in anatomy, I mean our body structure. It is the most amazing piece of engineering. We have a heart which is pumping continuously 24/7, a brain which no matter what, keeps sending out neuro-pulses, which make our body work.

The human mind is perhaps the most complex thing in the entire universe. Never has something so small, seemed so strong. It is said, that if a computer captured the entire Earth and was established, it would still be slow as compared to our brain. You will again be wondering, why I am listing out facts which you can find in any dog-eared and dusty fact-book.

Here is the reason: In this big, bad world (which we foolishly call our planet) intelligence is just not enough. You need to have something else, something different, which will make other animals stay clear of you. Something which gives us an edge, so that some other hungry animal won’t make mincemeat out of us. This is what we call a defense mechanism!

What is a defense mechanism? Defense mechanisms are unconscious psychological strategies brought into play by various entities to cope with reality and to maintain self-image. In simpler language: defense mechanisms are involuntary actions, which are triggered, when the animal feels that it is being threatened by an external force. In more simpler words (I have to stop making it so simple, but anyways) it is equivalent to something we have been learning from the 4^th standard ‘Response to Stimuli’.

That means, whenever an animal is being threatened, it will react in such a way, that the other animal should feel either scared, or at least make an effort in catching it. So, what does this have to do with us being aliens would be the first question, of the many ignorant people, who read first and think later?
It has everything to do with us being aliens. Remember I told you to go look yourself in the mirror, if you would have truly analyzed your anatomy (instead of your hairstyle) you would notice that just like the other animals are missing out on our superior brain, we are missing out on a major point.

‘An external defense mechanism’. Now, what is an external defense mechanism? It’s very simple… something that each and every animal has. (Notice I am using each and every animal, I have long foregone the idea of classifying us humans, with these animals) And when I say each and every animal, I do mean each and every.

From a dinosaur, the largest animal on earth, to the smallest ant! There is no need to explain the EDM (that’s short for external defense mechanism) for a dinosaur, but the ant is what would interest you, wouldn’t it! How come, an animal as small as an ant, have an external defense mechanism? Well are you forgetting what a bite that tiny sucker has. For a body as big as ours, and so strong (it is our ignorance which makes us call ourselves strong, but I will get to that later) we still feel the sting of an ant-bite. Now you would say, that it doesn’t matter to us it’s such a small bite. Well you would
be surprised as to how much mistaken you are.

As before, I have been strongly shouting out my point “It is not about the Shape and Size” and so does this affect on the point I am currently discussing. We consider an ant unimportant because it is so small. The magnitude itself is negligible. Is it? I think not. And why… because when we think of an ant, we think of it as a single small entity. But think carefully… if an ant had to take down a human, would it attack single-handedly. Obviously not, that is foolish bravado (again something which can only be attributed to humans). On the contrary an ant would bring a whole force… now let’s see the strong and enormous human fight that horde!

Nay impossible is what I say. We just can’t beat that. Let’s now move over from the ants. Here is a list of some common everyday animals and their EDM’s, just to give you an overview as to what we are missing

       Dog: Teeth (external)

        Cat: Paws (external)

        Cows & Bulls: Horns and not to forget, their
strong hoofs, which can crush us in a split-second (external)

        Donkeys: (Yes even donkeys have EDM) Strong legs
(external)

And it continues. If you just look at the above list, you will clearly notice, that each and every animal has at least one EDM. With which it can save itself, or use to kill (best defense is good offense). So even EDM can be used to kill and hunt. What I am trying to prove is, if we were evolved from the so-called apes, why is it that evolution forgot to give us an EDM. Or took it away from us!

Did Evolution hold a personal grudge? I don’t think so. I mean, think of the apes. They have strong body structures, teeth as hard as rocks, and hands having so much power, even a light tap is enough to fracture your skull, sending you tumbling into oblivion. And what do we have, a delicate framework,
even more embarrassing are our hands and legs, which have negligible power when compared to the apes. So when evolution took place, I can agree that we sized down, so as to look less threatening, but why rob us of our EDM.

Evolution sized us down and gave us no power to save ourselves. That is so unfair. Even if the alligators and the turtles sized down from the dinosaurs, they still have EDM’s. The alligator has razor sharp teeth, and even a slow creature like the turtle has an external hard shell.

So does that mean, us humans have no defense mechanism. On the contrary we have the best defense mechanism. Only thing is, it is internal and not external. Our brain which we are so proud about did help us survive. Because in this big, bad world nothing helped us so much than our brains (although, now as we progress it is the one causing our destruction). So what did the medulla oblongata do, so that we reverie it so much?

Well, for starters, it helped save our sorry ass from all the other animals (especially those who we call low-brained… which really means, stronger and fiercer than us). If you really strip of all the technology… all our weapons, houses, vehicles, electronics… all the inventions we did, you will understand, that when I say that this planet is not suitable for us, it really isn’t.

We have invented stuff, just to keep us alive. Animals have three basic needs: Food, Water and Shelter. But us humans, we have four: Food, Water, Shelter & Inventions. And only because of these inventions, have we managed to survive and slowly take over. I am forcing you to dwell on the invention part for so long, because I want you to understand a very major point, which helps me in saying that we didn’t evolve from the apes.

And that is, Planet Earth as it is, is not at all suitable for us. We are the creatures, who redecorated the whole place, just because we wanted it to be suitable for our lifestyle. Have you ever seen any animal destroy the planet so that it can stay happily. We cut down trees, block rivers, mow down mountains…
just because we want our lives to be comfortable (don’t worry; I am not getting all Environmentalist on you). The other animals, live on this planet in peace and harmony… yes they make prey of each other, but at least they are not destroying the planet.

Today we have to take care of every little detail about the environment … because we don’t know what might set off the chain reaction that might culminate in destroying this planet. So, it was our internal defense mechanism, which was the root of all problems. Simply said: ‘The more we advance, the more we are killing ourselves’

Before I take my leave, here is some food for thought: Have you ever tried to destroy your own home. On the contrary, you take special care of it… meanwhile if you have to stay in some unknown person’s house; you take a very cavalier approach towards it. So if we call Planet Earth our home, why are we hell-bent on destroying it! Just think about it.

Chapter 1 - Evolution of Men (the biggest hoax)

Author’s Note: This is a series of ideas which my mind had been throwing out for a long time. It’s just that I was plain lazy to put them on paper, but now thanks to the far-fetched reach of the World Wide Web and the amazing quality of a Blog to keep it’s reader glued to the seat (truly so, more people are blogging every day, then the amount of breaths we take in day) I have finally decided to do the needful. Hope you Enjoy them! CHEERS
We have always been curious as to what our origins are. And if you are one of the many people who solely and blindly put their faith into Darwin's theory of Evolution, then I urge you to please avoid reading this. But if you are one of those who may tend to think with an open mind, as to what you are reading, or you are one of those just like me, who believe that this ape to man conversion is pure nonsense, then please do read on!
What is Evolution? Evolution is the change in the inherited traits of a population of organisms through successive generations. Over time variants with particular heritable traits become more, or less, common.
What does this mean to us... in simple language - Evolution is the process through which a species slowly mutates into another superior species through many-many generations. So does that mean that us Humans have evolved from the Apes. Humungous Bullshit, is what I would say... Why? Because it clearly states that, it is the process through which a species... (Notice that 'Species' is mentioned because it is the most important word)... mutates into another one. Now that you understand at the most basic level what Evolution means, you will immediately know were Darwin went wrong.
In his 'Origin of Species' Darwin compared us to other animals. If we are animals, then why are we so different from the other species? And I am not talking about Size, Shape and Looks... No I am talking about the way we live, the way we grow, the way our needs have grown over time.
Man has adapted itself, he has outgrown some tendencies, and inbred some. What hasn't changed is the very basic functions: Survival, Adaptation and Well-Being of oneself.
You must be wondering why I am ranting so much on Man when all that we need to know is before our eyes. But as they say 'Our Eyes can Deceive us' and in this matter, they have been doing an excellent job.
It all began with the inception of Darwin's theory of Evolution. And since he was such a reputed scientist, his ideas had to be taken seriously and this resulted in an overwhelming positive response to his ideas, firmly establishing his belief that, we the humans had to be evolved from apes. And as it has been happening, whenever an idea has been accepted by people in a lot, we just accept it and never think of going back and checking whether the idea which has been proposed is correct at its very first foundation.
I am not saying what Darwin proposed was wrong. But neither am I saying that what he said was correct. Let's leave that to you. What I am proposing is: Darwin was limited by his time.
So here goes: You would love to meet Aliens, wouldn't you? It's funny, because whenever I say Aliens, people immediately make up an image of - A tall, lanky frame. With a bald head and big, black glassy orbs for eyes. And whose hands and feet have long, skeletal fingers which are curved backwards. And when they open their mouth, all we hear is gibberish. Stop thinking on the lines of a Steven Spielberg movie. This is not 'Independence Day'. If you really want to see an alien - get up from you chair, and go see yourself in the mirror (note that I am not implying that you are ugly, that is for you to decide). Yes, we are aliens. And the simplest fact is the ones which are the hardest to digest, and hence this will be very hard to be true, but it is. And why, for the simple fact that Evolution states that an entire species mutates into another one, over a period of time. As I have mentioned before, the word 'Species' is the most important one. Because, when we look at evolution as a single entity it shows us that, throughout history, evolution has always occurred with the entire wipeout of one species and its conversion into something more superior.
For example consider the Dinosaurs. The Dinosaurs got wiped out and evolved into Reptiles like the Alligators and the Turtles. Now the most common complaint I would get after this sentence is : "How in any way are the small reptiles more superior as compared to the enormous dinosaurs?" And the simple answer to this is: "Bigger is not always Better" And I am not just talking about our electronic equipment. As I have always been saying Evolution is not about your Size and Shape, but the way in which we live. Thus the Dinosaurs evolved into the compact reptiles and by doing this, it increased its survivability in world in which clearly the Dinosaurs would have perished completely, now or then. That is, because other species tend to wipe out that species, which they feel are the most superior of them all.
Now if what the definition of evolution means is true, then when Man evolved from the Apes, why didn’t the Ape species get wiped out? Why is it that, still apes are present? When accordingly to the definition of evolution they should have been converted into us. And how come, apes aren’t still evolving into us. Why don’t nowadays we see some other ape, evolving into the very basic stage of the Homo Sapiens. Evolution is a never-ending process. Then why the difference in the evolution of Men?
And, why aren’t we evolving into something different. Why has evolution stopped with the finalization of the Homo Sapiens? Does this mean that the homo sapiens are the most evolved species of all? And we know that this is entirely false, that is because, if we look at ourselves without all our technological advancement, we are still the same folks who are trying to survive from becoming dinner to other animals. Without our technological gadgets and wizardry we are like James Bond, who finds out at the last moment that his Stinger Missiles won’t fire! Jokes apart, if  we humans were to be thrown into the wilderness without any other thing to help, I am bloody well sure that we won’t be able to last for a year, forget generations (Oh yes!  And I am hundred percent sure, that we won’t evolve into Tarzans).
So if we consider for a moment that we did evolve from the apes, why is it, that we didn’t inherit one good habit of theirs? Was evolution playing a bad joke on us, or did it have a grudge? None of that, this clearly shows us, that we didn’t evolve from them.
So where did we come from? As I said, we are aliens and not some species that just happened to evolve from the apes, and become the super-animal of the planet. Becoming the supremo uno is not an easy task, and do you folks believe that just because we sized down, became more intelligent and less hairy we became the dominant species on Earth. I beg to differ.
Here is how I believe would be the proper way of defining Evolution: It is the slow yet continuous process via which one species slowly mutates into another more superior species with the total wipe out of the former. In simple language (it is simple enough already, yet): Evolution is Sustained and Permanent adaptation.  Think of Evolution and Adaptation as Plastic and Elastic deformations, respectively. While both are deformations, one is temporary while the other is permanent. Thus, evolution is the permanent deformation of one species, which leads them to form another one. And us humans, lose out on many criteria’s when we are being compared to the Apes. And yet it has been said, that we Evolved from them.
So if you still don’t believe me, then wait for my next chapter. And to all those who do believe me, do wait and read the next chapter, your support is what will fuel my mind to churn out the ideas and my fingers to convert them into words. So with this note I stop for now!
Do think about what I have been saying, and wait for my next chapter!